The Lap Toddler Diet

January 28, 2004



I am still a little fragile from being sick: low appetite, sleepy, mazy brained.

Thus I was very glad tonight to have had a chance to try the Lap Toddler Diet. I predict that this will soon be all the rage among trendy diet people, with dieters who have more money than sense going to rent-a-toddler before going out for a bite.

What is the Lap Toddler Diet?

It is much as the name suggests. Sit down to dinner. Before eating, lift a still-hungry toddler and place him on your lap. Let the toddler eat from your bowl until the bowl is empty or the toddler bursts. Do not repeat! Management can not be responsible for busting toddlers.

Seriously, the little man had a good dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, then had another half dinner off my plate after I got home from teaching. Later, in his bath, he looked to be 4 months pregnant. I make a good meatball, but this was still a remarkable feat of gluttony.

I predict a growth spurt any day now. Either that or he is going to start growing hair on his toes.

Posted by Red Ted at January 28, 2004 08:41 AM | TrackBack