Morning Twilight Fall is

October 07, 2003



Morning Twilight

Fall is well on its way. It was cold last night and dark this morning. I woke at 5:00, in part because I was cold, in part because I had to pee, but in the end because the baby was crying. I had been having a strange dream - we were moving from one apartment to another apartment, in the winter. I was married to J, and I was at the same time back in undergraduate. The apartments were very like those that J's friend C used to live in, a place I only visited once or twice when C and her boyfriend were moving house. In my dream, I took a break from moving to walk the dawg. She went out and peed on a piece of ice, and it froze instantly. I then peed on the same ice and it also froze.

I got out of bed, peed properly, and then got the crying baby. He had gotten cold. I brought him into bed with us. He quickly warmed up as long as I had my arms around him, and he went back to sleep. I did not sleep. I had a baby on my arm, and the baby's free hand was flailing and flailing. It is hard to get to sleep when someone keeps poking you.

I drifted a little, and then the 6:00 alarm rang. By 6:30, the baby the dawg and I were off for the morning walk. I was quicker out the door than sometimes for I had already gone through the mazy period of just waking. We walked around the middle lake, about a half-hour walk. The little man was wearing his new orange hat and a sweatshirt over his pajamas. His hands were cold when we returned. We did the entire walk, from start to finish, in the nautical twighlight of the morning. At the start there was just barely enough light to make it down the root-filled path from our street to the lake. When we were done the sky was glowing and perhaps if there were no trees we might have seen the sun. It feels wrong, and autumnal, to take a full walk and be back before the sun is above the trees.

I like the autumn. I like the crisp air, the smell of apples, the aromas of the seasons. I do not like the fading light. I sometimes have mild seasonal depression when the leaves fall and the skies turn to their many shades of grey and pearl. Yesterday was an apple cider day: for most of the day I wanted apple cider, the air felt like apple cider and hot cider donuts. Fall sunshine is a very good thing; fall darkness is not so good.

All in all, it was a good morning. I have prepared class and now I get to go grade and then teach.

Posted by Red Ted at October 7, 2003 09:16 AM | TrackBack