I do not have to beat my wife

October 12, 2003


I do not have to beat my wife. She does it for me.

J has been doing a very good job of beating herself since long before I met her. That sounds terrible, I know. The funny thing is, she claims that she does not mean to do it. She just walks into things - her little toe on one foot is permanently fused. She walks into more things - she has quite the collection of scars on her shins. She has ripped the meniscus in her knee not once but twice - she claims it was a dancing injury - and has been scoped for it.

She did the best job of beating herself up when she was figure skating. Her first ice rink had grooves in the ice, her rental skates got caught, she fell and slid into the wall, and for the next six weeks she wore a sling because of the hairline fracture in her radius. In a different incident she bruised her tailbone and bruised some of the inner workings of her SI joint. And yet, she kept going back. She even woke up early in the morning to go to the rink, fling herself in the air, and bruise her hips and legs. For a while I would, before hugging and certainly before anything further, first have to check to see where the bruises were.

Lately, she has not been beating herself up as much. Now the kids beat her for me. The little man caught her a good one in the jaw earlier today, and while he did not knock her out or fracture anything, she has been sore ever since. His other new game has been the love tackle where he gets two feet on the ground, one arm around the front of your neck, and drives a hug through you like a blitzing linebacker (only cuter). Meanwhile Macadamia (due at the end of February) has been punching and kicking up a storm.

Maybe I should get an a-shirt one of those sleeveless t-shirts to wear around the house. I wonder if you can get those shirts in the 18-month size?

Edit - clarified last line for the Carnival.

Posted by Red Ted at October 12, 2003 09:57 AM | TrackBack